Are you ENDURING the Teenage Years rather than ENJOYING them?

Why is it that when we have babies and toddlers there’s a wealth of information that is available to us.
There are checklists and videos, downloads and forums, even Mum & Toddler groups. All giving us advice about how to deal with the milestones that our little angels are facing. Milestones like teething, tantrums, snatching & biting and the tiredness that we experience whilst they aren’t sleeping that percolates into our very marrow.

BUT – as soon as the problems get meatier and the struggles that we start to face – as our little angels head towards adolescence – become less (dare i say it ) trivial – the advice and words of wisdom tend to dry up. Suddenly, as we look for support and reassurance, all we experience is ‘tumbleweed’ – whilst feeling like that frenzied pinball ricocheting from one calamity to another.

I get it!

Part of the problem is because when – as parents we finally admit that we need help – we are somehow being disloyal to our child. One Mum said to me :

“He’s not a bad kid – but I don’t know what to do to support him. If I say something, people will think that he’s a trouble maker – which is not the case – he’s just trying to find his way in the world.”

If we are ‘brave enough’ to acknowledge that our teenagers are causing us untold stress and that we need help  – somehow we are letting the side down. And not only that – we start to feel that we are crap parents.

“I’ve been parenting for long enough – you’d think I would have got the hang of it by now!”

So all too often we remain silent – keeping our counsel. At best, hoping we can navigate those choppy waters, emerging relatively unscathed.

It doesn’t have to be like that.

My experience is that when we receive the support, that many of us so desperately crave – we start building better relationships with our teenagers.

“Both kids are getting loads of positive attention, which is all good as we’ve become a tight family unit which is great.

I think the difference is that in the early years – we are physically tired – but by the time we reach the teenage years, we are emotionally exhausted too. The stakes are higher as our teenagers are now making choices that can have an impact on their future.
Whilst a spree of biting, might get little Stephanie suspended from nursery – bad grades or God forbid questionable life choices can have a more far-reaching impact.

Negotiating such trials and tribulations of Adolescence as :

  • dropping grades
  • anxiety attacks
  • lack of self confidence
  • arguments & slanging matches
  • moodiness

can leave parents feeling isolated or insecure. Whilst trying to meet their teenager’s demands for greater freedom and autonomy, parents are all too aware of the pitfalls that dubious decisions made by their teenagers can throw up.

All is not lost!

I have provided a space where it is safe to come and have those conversations. Where parents can seek support. Where you can normalise the behaviour that you are experiencing at home.

Whilst we know that being a new parent can be a struggle – we forget that being a parent of a teenager is equally taxing. The goalposts keep changing. Things are not the same for this generation. There are other issues to contend with. Issues that we, as parents, also sometimes need to learn more about. Some of which include :

  • Social Media
  • Drugs
  • Bullying & Cyber-Bullying
  • Terrorism
  • Gaming
So come and join us on Facebook :  www.caigraham.com/FBgroup

PARENTS : TEEN Toolbox

can be your virtual support network of like-minded souls. You can :

  • Learn from one another.
  • Reach out for support.
  • Moan about the pressures of transitioning through to adulthood with your teenager.
  • Acknowledge that you aren’t doing as badly as you thought!

CLICK HERE : www.caigraham.com/FBgroup

and I can’t wait to Welcome you inside our group.

Cai x

 

 

 

 

 

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