What’s the BEST New Year’s Resolution that you have come across recently?
There is so much talk at the minute about getting ready for 2016 and setting all the right goals for the New Year. Understandably, there is so much excitement and furore about discarding the old year and embracing the new.
The thought that we can leave the past behind and start with a clean sheet is very appealing isn’t it? A bit like having the opportunity to re-invent ourselves.
Goals are great and really important and I shall blog about this subject separately. However, I still think there’s something missing. I believe the important factor, which sometimes is forgotten, is that however much we try and wipe the slate clean and start afresh, we are still moving forward – with the same person … Ourselves.
How much more powerful could it be, if instead of setting new goals like losing 2 stone by next Christmas, or giving up smoking or even changing jobs, changing, partners, changing hairdos – ( whatever ) …
How wonderful would it be if we could just accept what we have right now?
Imagine the freedom of being totally comfortable with who we currently are.
it’s worth mentioning that if you want to move forward and do something differently, it’s not always necessary to wait until the start of the week, month or even year. You can start anytime. I actually started planning for 2016 back in November. I was feeling suitably motivated – it was a wet Wednesday and the time just felt right.
My point? Now is the right time to start ( whenever now is ).
Appreciate the wonderfulness of YOU.
I have created a Business System called The M.O.D.E.L Mindset. In this system, I have a Goal Setting Module called the “Stress-Free Upgrade Programme”. More about this prior to release in the Spring.
However, even before the goals are thought about, the very first thing that I ask my clients to do is to acknowledge who they are. To realise that everything has brought them to where they are right now; and being comfortable with that.
Accept YOU, understand YOU and like who YOU are right now. Today.
Consequently, any positive changes that you later decide to make, become a lot more impactful.
Why? Well, I believe that without understanding who we currently are and what we really stand for, then it’s hard to move on, as we are just papering over the cracks.
It’s time to embrace our flaws. Nobody is perfect and trying to be, is a never-ending battle. Invariably trying to be perfect can only result in increased stress and overwhelm.
On a personal note : I always love working on my own mindset – understanding exactly what makes me tick. One of my big lightbulb moments, during a breakthrough session, was uncovering that my unconscious mind truly believed :
“I will not receive approval – until I am perfect.”
Seriously! It was staggering how much this belief had been holding me back. Ha! We knocked that one out of the park!
So what else during my own journey of personal development, have I unearthed about my ? Well …
- I am overweight and it has always troubled me
- I have a really loud laugh that often draws attention to myself ( and as an introvert, this is not really a consequence that sits well with me )
- When I am talking about something I am passionate about, I raise my voice and I talk quickly ( Mike calls it shouting – I call it enthusiasm )
- I am an impatient driver
- I successfully gave up booze – which I substituted for cappuccinos – which I replaced with chocolate – only to find cake.
- I hate injustice and bullies …
… and there’s so much more I could improve upon. So much more I could change for the better. But, let’s face it – this is who I am. It must be the case that pressurising ourselves to change, in the bid to be “perfect” isn’t going to end well.
“Always be a first rate version of yourself –
rather than a second rate version of how someone else wants you to be.”
Using my weight as an example : This has always been a massive issue for me. But, truthfully, once I started to work on my emotions / hangups – NLP calls them Limiting Beliefs – whatever you want to call them; I became more accepting of myself. After a while, my body shape began to change. The unconscious mind is a very powerful entity. I’ve no idea what the scales currently say – but it just seems less important now. This is a huge milestone – coming from someone who used to weigh herself at least twice a day.
I guess, the long and the short of this is that : Who we are – really is OK.
My strap-line is “Getting Your Head Around You”™ – and let’s face it – once you’ve got that cracked you’re onto a winner.
What’s your WHY?
It’s worth also, considering our reasons for change.
I know – that once we achieve the clarity in our own minds – once we gain an insight into exactly what is driving us, then the pieces of the jigsaw begin to fit together.
If you are you wanting to be different to who we are – then WHY?
If you are we wanting to change – then WHY?
- To please others and keep the peace?
- Perhaps to fit in?
- To do what you think is expected of you?
Surely this can’t be right? Surely changing for the wrong reasons is not a good move? This would explain why many of our New Year’s Resolutions run out of steam even before the empties reach the bottle banks. The reason is that there’s no real motivation to succeed in the first place.
So, this New Year, let’s change things for the right reasons.
- To make ourselves happier
- To enrich our lives and of course, those near and dear to us.
There’s no better motivator. If these ‘improvements’ are for YOU, then you are more connected to the rationale behind the change. Consequently, the will to succeed is more powerful.
The minute we feel good about ourselves, we can start connecting better with others; be it our kids, our family, our work colleagues – whoever. This has got to be good – right?
Let’s get into the correct frame of mind:
Here’s a quick exercise to give yourself a kickstart to the New Year. Something I am sure you will really benefit from.
Instead of working on what you don’t like about yourself – your weaknesses; try focussing on what you do well – your strengths.
Get a pen and paper and for the next 15 minutes list all your achievements over the past year. What are you most proud of from 2015?
In the following areas of your life list 5 things that you are most proud of:
- Health & Fitness
- Personal Development
- Fun & Recreation
- Family & Friends
- Spirituality / Contribution
How are you feeling now?
Perhaps you are a bit happier – more confident in your achievements and capabilities?
Let this year be all about building on your strengths and minimising your weaknesses. I believe that it is more constructive to look at the whole picture – not just the areas that we are unhappy about – the good and the bad.
Maybe, after this little exercise, you’ve realised that there’s not a huge amount you really want to change. Perhaps it’s matter of working out how to be comfortable with yourself and what you’ve already got. Experience tells me that realising your are enough inevitably allows you to achieve more and realise your dreams.
Let 2016 be a great year – for all the right reasons.
So if you are feeling in need of assistance. If you feel that learning some of these techniques can improve life for you and your children – give me a call – I can help.
Much Love 💕