I am sitting on the plane – all alone – heading for a 2 week yoga retreat in the Spanish hills with a wonderful company called KaliYoga.
I am feeling excitement and anticipation. I don’t think I have been away for so long on my own.
Throughout my adult life I have harboured a secret dream to be a “Shirley Valentine”; and now that dream is coming true!
When I have mentioned this to some people, I have been greeted with raised eyebrows.
“What about Michael?” People have asked. “What’s he going to do without you? Why aren’t you going on holiday together?”
Well the thing is – my darling husband is just fine thank you very much. He is on a cycling holiday in Mallorca.
“Well why don’t you go on holiday together and just do your own thing during the day?” Others have suggested.
To be honest – it never even crossed our minds in this instance.
But the point is we are fine the way things are. It works for us.
Would I like to go with him on his cycling holiday? Um – no thank you. I’m not terribly interested in all that – so why would I go and cramp his style? He has a load of mates that he has gone with and he can chat about chafing and cadence with them till his heart’s content!
Likewise in don’t think he’d be particularly interested in learning about the menopause – even if there is the occasional downward dog thrown in! (My first week is a yoga retreat for women who want support and advice in the menopause. Right up my street!)
So here we are – enjoying the Spanish sunshine – separately.
(Thank you to our team for holding the fort at home.)
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else
is the greatest accomplishment.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
All too often I see couples, and even families, compromising themselves because it doesn’t fit in with each other’s plans.
Maybe they always go to the same Indian restaurant – even though one of them secretly has a penchant for trying somewhere different.
So many young people I see are miserable as they are forsaking their own dreams and ambitions as they feel duty bound to fulfil their parent’s expectations. That can’t be right.
Perhaps (unlike us in this instance) they want to holiday together – but compromise on the destination just to keep the peace.
“All our dreams can come true
If we have the courage to pursue them.”
~ Walt Disney ~
But just suppose it’s something bigger than that.
I have seen wives drinking too much – blotting out their sadness – as they feel trapped in a soulless marriage.
I have seen husbands opt not to have children – because it’s their wife’s choice not to have babies.
I have seen countless women put their careers on hold – not only for the sake of the children – but also to support their partner’s career dreams.
Now don’t get me wrong – all this is fine … if it is a decision made by CHOICE. But, if these compromises are made out of duty or obligation then I suggest caution.
“What’s the harm if you love the person?” You may ask.
Well I’ll tell you.
If you have an unrealised dream within you … if you are sitting on suppressed hopes or quashed expectations then, believe me, they will smoulder away inside you – until such a time that they can no longer stay hidden.
When we constantly put other’s lives before our own, we erode our own self worth.
When we persistently prioritise someone else’s needs before our own, resentment begins to grow.
And when there is imbalance and resentment within a relationship – then this is a recipe for disaster.
“The greatest sacrifice;
is when you sacrifice your own happiness
for the sake of someone else.”
So have a think.
Are you denying yourself what you TRULY wish for?
Are you compromising yourself – however good your intentions?
Because – if the answer is Yes to either of these – I implore you to dig deep and consider the consequences.
By taking action to do something for yourself – if it’s a holiday alone – a new career or (dare I say it) a new relationship – you are able to start living the life with more joy and more colour.
Will I miss Mike? Of course I will?
Will be miss me? He better had!
And when we are reunited again we will have so much to tell one another, so much to share and the knowledge that we are each living our individual lives – Happily Together.
Much Love 💕
PS : As I post this :
✔️I have arrived safely – after a few detours thanks to Google maps,
✔️met the other guests
✔️had my first yoga session
✔️sampled some wonderful food (soon to appear on instagram)
✔️booked myself a session of Sound Therapy ( that’s tomorrow ) so watch this space!
PPS : If you are interested to hear more about my 2 week yoga experience with KaliYoga – please come on over to Instagram and watch my stories. (Follow me on Instagram )