Have you ever been in a situation where you regret ‘oversharing’ your emotions?
We all too often hear of the importance of expressing our feelings and letting others know how we feel.
And then when we do – lo and behold – we sometimes get frowned upon for being too candid.
I truly feel that our emotions are a part of who we are. Being able to express them freely is an important part to maintaining our own wellbeing.
Take Anger for example …
When it is expressed in the right way – Anger helps us to release tensions, both emotionally and physically.
However, there are times when Anger does not serve us well – and it’s those times that we need to address. When it’s mis-managed, Anger is often used as a tool of control and others can feel threatened by this.
Left unchecked, Anger can be incredibly destructive. Anger :
- Destroys your relationships
- Erodes trust and respect
- Ruins reputations
- Limits your opportunities
- Clouds your judgement
- Damages your health
Rest assured – if Anger is causing problems for you ( or a loved one ) given time and effort it can be managed very effectively.
The first step to managing Anger is to understand it, and then you can start dealing with it.
Anger is a natural emotion. Just like, Love, Sadness and Happiness. However, it is a challenging emotion if is allowed to get out of control.
By admitting to the fact that Anger is an issue for you, you are already on the right track. If Anger is controlling your life and having a negative impact on your life then it’s time to do something about it.
A healthy and stress-free lifestyle contributes to a more balanced mind; one that is better equipped to deal with the rollercoaster of emotions we often have to deal with on a daily basis. This might ( for some ) be a no-brainer; and yet for others they might not quite appreciate the link.
The point is, that when the body is relaxed and balanced, there are more feel-good hormones swishing around the body. So when something challenging happens, you are more likely to deal with the situation better.
So, to give yourself a head start :
- Get plenty of exercise
- Eat well and stay hydrated
- Get enough sleep ( this is a biggie )
Emotionally, what triggers your Anger ?
There are likely to be many different reasons :
- Emotional Hurt
- Loss of control
- Feeling threatened
If necessary keep a journal.
Recognise the patterns that start to emerge.
What are your triggers ?
- Perhaps a certain person drives you crazy
- Maybe a particular situation makes your blood boil
- Possibly you become more stressed at a certain time of day?
Whatever the situation – it helps to understand that your reaction when you feel Angry is a habit. It is a pattern :
TRIGGER … REACTION … OUTCOME
You need to try and change your REACTION to the TRIGGER so that you reach a more positive OUTCOME.
So, how do we change that habit ?
How to deal with Anger
TAKE TIME OUT :
When you are in a situation that makes you uncomfortable or lose control, the most constructive thing you can initially do is to take stock and remove yourself from that situation. If you are feeling increased Anger it is a sign that something is not right for you.
By removing yourself from the situation – you are allowing yourself the space you need to re-evaluate what’s going on.
Physically your body changes when you’re Angry :
- Increased Heart Rate
- Clouded judgement
- Shallow breathing ( to name but a few )
– so it’s important to try and regulate these physical signs.
Concentrate on slow rhythmical breathing. Focus only on that. Allowing your mind to stop racing and for your pulse rate to return to normal, helps you get back in control of your emotions.
Here is a video that might help you : Box Breathing :
BE BOLD :
Changing that habit might not be as easy as a breathing exercise however. Sometimes a bolder step is required. What you need to do is interrupt that pattern of behaviour as soon as you are aware of the feelings. Try these :
- 5 Star Jumps
- Breaking out into Song
- Reciting a Nursery Rhyme
- Counting to 10 forwards and backwards
It might sound odd – but changing your behaviour radically interrupts that old “Anger Reaction.” It breaks the cycle of that old habit and if repeated often enough, it starts to create NEW habits. It gives you back control.
Overcoming Anger is not a sign of weakness.
It shows you are managing your emotions
You are control.
If however you are still struggling, please do seek support; as you so not have to suffer in silence.
TimeLine Therapy is a safe and effective technique I use that is a great way to remove the significance of our 5 major negative emotions :
Here is a blog post that tells you more about it : Releasing your Emotional Baggage : Interested ? Then please get in touch.
As an NLP Master Practitioner I understand how to apply a number of techniques that can help with any potential minefields. NLP has some highly effective tools in it’s armoury and if you feel you’d like a chat, please get in touch.
Much Love 💕