Have you had exam disappointment?

Saturday saw many children in Northern Ireland receiving their AQE results ( formerly known as the 11+ ). Probably, some of those children did not get the results that they were hoping for. So today, across the country, there will be children entering their classrooms feeling anxious and uncertain.

Anxious, as they don’t know what their friends will say or perhaps that they might feel a bit left out. But uncertain as well, because the way this system is set up – the children do not receive official notification of their ‘big school’ until May.

Understandably, this can therefore be an anxious time for both children and parents.

If this is the situation that you now find yourself in – how would it be, if you could help your child initially to deal with the disappointment of not achieving the results they wanted – but also helping them cope with this long wait?

Very often, children who receive academic setbacks tend to blame themselves and label themselves as being ‘thick’ or ‘bad at exams’. These thoughts are neither healthy nor constructive. Studies show that if children are given a label ( by themselves of by others ) this tends to shape their future behaviour; which can cause problems throughout the rest of their childhood and beyond.

[ See my own story on the About Me page on the website. ]


As we know, a week to a child feels like an eternity; so imagine the impact a three month delay might have.

Uncertainty and possible change is known to knock many adults and therefore the effect on a child can be just as unsettling, if not more so.

In today’s world, there are increasing expectations and pressures on children. I often feel that their childhood is being cut short. Children have to grow up more quickly and I believe that it’s our responsibility to help and support them where we can.

Imagine how valuable would it be if you could teach your child that, yes, life does throw us a all curve ball every so often. But it is how we deal with these upsets that shape who we really are now and in the future.

Together, we can help your child learn, that when we meet bumps in the road – this does not have to define who we are.

Using simple NLP techniques, we can very easily help alleviate some of the issues that might arise for your child – not only from exam results – but other forms of bad news or misfortune. Maybe you might recognise some of these changes in behaviour?

  • lack of confidence
  • disruption at home
  • attention seeking
  • interrupted sleep
  • social withdrawal

We often use a technique called Anchoring – which is quick and fast. For example, if your child it feeling uneasy or anxious, this technique teaches your child to trigger a positive emotion – so perhaps they might choose to feel more confident or happy instead.

By using Metaphors we can use suggestive language that ties in with their imagination. By using stories, kids tend to accept these positive suggestions more readily – without a critical mind interfering.

Children are like sponges and have the ability absorb information – especially if it’s fast and fun.

Using these, and may other tried and tested NLP tools we can safely empower your child to have control over how they want to feel; giving them confidence to be who they are with increased self-esteem and self belief.

So if you think that your child might need a helping hand – give me a call – maybe I can be of assistance.

Thank you

Cai’s ultimate driver is to empower individuals to make the necessary changes, through Personal Breakthrough Sessions and Performance Coaching; using recognised methods from Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and TimeLine Therapy & Hypnosis.

For more information please contact Cai : cai@caigraham.com or call 02891853478.