In this final blogpost in the “Jack Canfield Trilogy” I am discussing the last characteristic that the majority of high achievers appear to adopt – and that is taking 100% responsibility for themselves and their actions.
To refresh, Jack identified the other two traits that very successful people seem to possess – that the everyday person seems to lack – as being :
- Unusual clarity ( which I first discussed )
- Powerful habits of success ( last week’s topic )
You either create or allow everything that happens to you.
By taking 100% responsibility – you are committing to a new and healthier mindset. It is all too easy to make excuses and not take responsibility for our outcomes. But our power comes from how we choose to react.
By taking responsibility and acknowledging that we are the masters of our own destiny; that we are the ones who can implement the changes that we need, then we empower ourselves to take control. By electing to take responsibility, we are no longer :
- Making Excuses
- Blaming others
- Complaining
Our power comes from our response.
Making Excuses :
There are so many opportunities to find excuses. The economy is not strong enough, the weather isn’t good enough, your boss is not supportive enough.
The other day, I heard a colleague make excuses for not performing terribly well on the golf course. He was blaming the weather and said that the wind was very unpredictable and that was the reason why he did not clear a good score. The winner of the competition however, had no such excuses to make. I am sure he took the opportunity to keep his head down and just do his best under the difficult circumstances.
O + A = O ( Opportunity + Attitude = Outcome. )
Have you ever been in a situation where a great opportunity has presented itself – and you, for whatever reason, did not maximise that opportunity? Perhaps you were too scared or maybe you felt that you weren’t ready. Whatever the reason, we have the power to determine our own results, so long as we set our minds to it.
People who want to move forward understand that it is their choice and that they have the power to take action and focus on their own progress.
Blaming Others :
“A man can fail many times; but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.”
~~ John Burroughs
Blame diverts attention away from ourselves. It provides a plausible reason for failure. However, blaming yourself is not a healthy option either. By taking responsibility – which is very different – you are actually placing yourself accountable for your actions; and as a result you are ensuring a more positive outcome. You are focussing on a desired outcome rather than an explanation for failure.
Complaining :
E + R = O ( Event + Response = Outcome )
How we react, has a huge impact on the outcome of the event.
I recently witnessed a conversation between two women. The first mum made a comment to the other, regarding the friend choices the second lady’s son had been making recently. Clearly the first woman felt that they were an unsuitable bunch and that her colleague was not wielding the control that she should as a ‘responsible’ parent. The reply was both dignified and very powerful, and she calmly replied …
“As a Mum, all I can do is support and guide my son where I see fit. In life, we will come across many people who are either a bad influence or that we don’t like. The rules are no different for adults – it’s just the playground that changes.”
Had the second lady chosen to take offence and over-react the conversation might have taken a very different path. As it was, it came to a halt and both ladies went their separate ways.
Focus on the outcome and how to achieve it.
There are many reasons why we do not achieve the results that we are looking for. Maybe we do not have the know-how, or lack of motivation is holding us back; or perhaps we are just plain afraid. All of these factors can affect the outcome based on the response we choose to take. The response is a choice. Your choice.
What are you going to change? The event, the outcome or your response?
“If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.”
~ Henry Ford ~
What is abundantly clear is that the only person who is truly responsible for living the life that you want and applying the appropriate changes – is YOU. It is up to you, the individual, to take 100% responsibility of your thinking and your behaviour.
If you want to make changes to your current situation – you have to make changes to how you are currently behaving.
I cannot lose weight : it is unlikely this is due to your slow metabolism : perhaps you should consider cutting down on the junk food or maybe exercising more.
My boss doesn’t support me enough : in fact he might not be noticing you at all : perhaps you could consider talking to him and identifying what he thinks you need to do ( maybe more training or looking for an opportunity to take on more work ) or indeed, you may need to move jobs all together.
You have the choice to make the changes – it is just a matter of taking responsibility and acknowledging that it is up to you to take the appropriate action. You may choose to do nothing. Invariably this course of action does not really lead to change, so you are likely to achieve the same results as always. The alternative is to step up to the plate and make the necessary steps for change and to reach new dreams and to start living the life that you truly deserve.
Look out for the signals for change.
Are you happy with your life at the minute? Is your career progressing as you anticipated? Is the reading on the scales as you had hoped? Whatever the signals, whether they are thoughts or something more tangible, it is always advisable to look out for signs that indicate that the equilibrium of your life is not as it should be.
If you identify the need for change, you have the options to :
- Drop behaviours that aren’t working or
- Do more of what’s already working or
- To adopt different behaviour that might result in different, more positive outcomes that you seek.
So if you are feeling stuck and in need of change – give me a call – I can help you identify those changes that you might need to apply to your :
- Behaviours & Actions : through adapting your habits and strategies
- Thoughts & Beliefs : through removing your emotional blocks and perhaps re-prioritising your values.
Much Love 💕
